This Substack is dedicated to the thousands of individuals who struggle daily with the flow of bipolar disorder. Writing for them as some grand advocate sounds like a nice idea, but for me, this collection of essays is simply a robust poetic exercise in personal public documentation. An exercise, designed to help keep my sanity.
You help keep me accountable.
The main goal, of course, is still to get noticed and end up blogging/podcasting for a living, so earning revenue here would be a good place for that to start. Any help to get the right eyes here would be nice, but I’ve learned not to lean as much on fantasy.
Mentally, human beings grow into their shell throughout Erikson’s proposed psychosocial theory of development (referenced at the bottom of this article*).
The shell of the psyche keeps the outside world from invading the innermost valuable precious you. An outside world that pushes facts, logic, and lies; all presented under the table of truth. Making you judge. Making me cook.
Under constant bombardment, some of us are born with a genetic predisposition that cracks said judge. What was once true is no more, the fact that might be fiction, and the fiction just might be fact.
Invading ideas systematically break past our most secret and scientifically unknown systems of control. Systems of unity evolved specifically to keep cohesion amongst the tribes.
When I crack the yolk that leaks out of me is confined chaos that was never intended to reach the light of consciousness.
The weight of this burden, the cracks within cracks, cannot be made whole without supplemental medication. A daily regimental reminder of the weight we carry.
That weight carried as a yoke around our neck is the remainder of the equation of evolution. A force only multiplied by the dice of the X and Y chromosomes. The product of which a residual outcome necessitates a band of outliers within the given community.
We are the outliers, we are the crazies. Stay tuned.
Trust vs. Mistrust (Infancy): The first stage occurs during infancy (0-1 year). The central issue is the development of trust in caregivers. Infants learn to trust that their needs will be met consistently or develop mistrust if their needs are not consistently met.
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt (Early Childhood): This stage occurs during early childhood (1-3 years). The primary task is to develop a sense of autonomy while learning basic skills. If children are encouraged and supported in their independence, they develop a sense of autonomy; otherwise, they may experience shame and doubt.
Initiative vs. Guilt (Preschool): Taking place during the preschool years (3-6 years), this stage involves children exploring their environment and taking initiative in activities. If their initiatives are encouraged, they develop a sense of initiative; if not, they may experience guilt.
Industry vs. Inferiority (Elementary School): This stage occurs during the elementary school years (6-12 years). Children begin to develop a sense of competence and mastery in various skills and tasks. Success leads to a sense of industry, while feelings of inferiority may arise if they perceive themselves as inadequate.
Identity vs. Role Confusion (Adolescence): Taking place during adolescence (12-18 years), this stage involves the exploration of identity and the development of a clear sense of self. Adolescents may experience role confusion if they struggle to establish a solid identity.
Intimacy vs. Isolation (Young Adulthood): This stage occurs during young adulthood (18-40 years). Individuals seek intimate relationships and connections. Successfully navigating this stage leads to the development of intimate relationships, while failure may result in feelings of isolation.
Generativity vs. Stagnation (Middle Adulthood): This stage takes place during middle adulthood (40-65 years). Individuals focus on contributing to society and future generations. Success in this stage leads to a sense of generativity, while stagnation may result in feelings of unproductiveness.
Integrity vs. Despair (Late Adulthood): The final stage occurs during late adulthood (65+ years). Individuals reflect on their lives, and a sense of integrity is achieved if they feel a sense of fulfillment and acceptance. Despair may arise if there are regrets and unresolved issues.